Disregard Males, Acquire Currency

When I was in middle school, I threw a McDonald’s cup at a passing car. It was a dare by some older kids, and I thought I was hot shit-until the car circled back around.

I watched, while hiding in the bushes, the car circle around at least 5 or 6 times. It scared the crap out of me and I never threw anything at a passing car again.

The other day I got the opportunity to shape a young life, much as mine had been. A young man, from the same middle school at that, threw a stick at my car. After yelling a few expletives in his general direction, I pulled over to get out and access if there was any damage, and subsequently scared the living day lights out of the kid. He immediately took of running down the block. I, feeling particularly silly, turned to Kerry in the car and said, “You wanna follow him and yell at him?” She agreed, so we set off after him.

We found his friends first, to which we gave an “I’m watching you…” warning, a la Robert Di Niro.

We then found the kid. We pulled up next to him and stopped.

“Hey you little hooligan! You think it’s funny to throw shit at cars?”

He scoffed out a “No.”

“Well then why the %&#$ would you do it?”

I then drove off, blasting my Lil Wayne music loudly, satisfied that I had passed down my knowledge to the youth of today.

thatawkwardmoment:

when you finish your test early and you don’t want to be the first one to hand it in so you wait for someone else to do it first…

tomyhusband:

I’m never going to call you that.